Isnt It Great To Own A Moke!

Just winding down here at work so decided to check out the upcoming weather for today, the weekend and the next week, couldn't help but put it on the blog.

If there was any question whether I regreted the decision to move back to Perth, cast your eyes over the weather if you will. Outdoor activities how I love thee. I reckon the catchphrase for Perth should be: Perth ...... roof optional

Beautiful one day, stinking hot the next! LOVELY

P.S. Just checked next Thursday and you'll never guess what its gunna be! Fine, 27

Grey's Anatomy The Game

It's not the first time I've said this and I can guarantee it wont be the last - Now I've seen everything!

If you have ever seen an episode of Greys Anatomy you'll understand what I'm talking about, don't get me wrong - the show has its audience, but what the hell were they thinking when they released it as a Wii game?

Season 1 was the only real season centered around medicine and apart from the fact that its based in a hospital, there is no medical aspect of the show left. Meredith's excessive whining makes you want to baseball bat her head 'T-Ball' style and the others seem to be engaging in an extended Seattle Grace orgy for which I almost expect the cast of Melrose Place to join in on any episode now.

Ive taken the liberty of writing up the highlights for the back of the game packet:

- Help Meredith sleep with McDreamy, McSteamy, McLesbian, McKnobhead and Ronald McDonald on her way to becoming a surgeon!
- Get engaged to a patient after a few weeks then accidentally kill him only to find out that he is haunting you and insisting your physical relationship continue!
- Pick a set of car keys out of a bowl and jump into the pitch black cupboard for some STD's!
- Break a fingernail and head straight to the on-call room for some meaningless sex!
- Give your male colleagues a penile fracture by hopping on top and doing the 'Whirlybird' instead of treating patients!
- Ask your fiance's mum's adulterer to be your best man because you don't want to ask your best friend cos he broke up your first marriage, followed you across the country and is now sleeping with your fiance's step sister who is a bridesmaid and just happens to work at the same hospital!

The scariest part? I only made 2 of them up!

Soundtrack Of The Day: Grinspoon - Guide To Better Living

Desperately Seeking CRT

Short but sweet post from me today as I'm still desperate for an old large PC monitor. I sent an email last week but haven't managed to find one as yet.

Ideally I need a Black 21+ inch CRT (the old big fat kind) and I need it yesterday! Happy to pay for it so please please please send a quick email out to your posse's before they chuck it on the next roadside collection heap!

A white one is also fine and will even consider a 19 inch but it would need to be black for sure. Send the feelers out and get in touch with me asap as project N is officially on hold until one is found.

Soundtrack Of The Day: Bucks Beats (current song: Bodyjar - One In A Million)

Sanga's Ahoy!

Whats the best thing in sandwiches since sliced bread?

NON - LEAKING TOMATOES!

It's the big drawback of sandwiches made with tomato - they go soggy. But now a tomato is about to go on sale that will help your bread stay firm.

Tesco claims to have found the world's first non-leaking tomatoes and expects to have them on its shelves by the end of this week.

Emma Pettitt, the supermarket's tomato buyer, said: 'The arrival of the non-leaking tomato may well be heralded by sarnie fans as the best thing to hit the sandwich world since sliced bread.

'Tomatoes are popular, but unfortunately their juiciness sometimes means that by lunchtime a salad sarnie resembles a piece of wet cardboard. From now on that will be a thing of the past.' She pointed out another advantage to the tomato, which will cost 99p for a punnet of four.

'Tomatoes can be tricky to chop and a squirt of juice can easily end up on the kitchen wall or over your shirt. The non-leaking variety will stop that problem but without the tomato losing any of its taste.'

The tomatoes were grown in Holland under a seed-breeding programme that began in 1986.

After trials using more than 100 varieties the breakthrough came last year when, through natural breeding methods, the growers developed one that held its shape when sliced, baked or diced.

Tests also showed that when making a sandwich from a standard tomato, 8 per cent of its weight is lost after slicing it and a further 12 per cent of the moisture seeps into the bread only an hour later.

The performance of the non-leaking variety is significantly better. Less than one per cent of moisture is lost when the tomato is sliced and only 3 per cent seeps into the bread - but 12 hours after the sandwich is made.

Soundtrack Of The Day: Hottest 100 2008 CD. (thanks Adam & Bel!)

Let Me Show You My Axe Closet

It happens to the best of us, you come home after a hard day of work, hang your jacket on a guitar, plonk yourself onto a guitar, put your feet up on a guitar and grab the guitar remote and turn the guitar on to see whats playing.

Go to the fridge, grab an ice cold guitar and start making roast guitar with steamed guitars. Chuck it into the preheated guitar for 90mins before eating it with a guitar and guitar while sitting on the guitar watching the guitar again.

If you too are surrounded by gui.... i can't even write it anymore.... you need the axe hanger!

I can imagine the 'coming outa the closet' lines now.... "Honey I have a confession, I'm secretly Jo Satriani - wanna surf on the alien?"

Just don't tell the cops you have a hidden axe collection and you should be sweet!

Soundtrack Of The Day: Please, its the BUCKS COMPILATION!!!! (Currently playing: Gnarls Barkley - Gone Daddy Gone)

Hi-Five For Ralph Magazine

Hi-5's Kellie Crawford sheds image, clothes.

Hi-5 founding member Kellie Crawford has shed her colourful work clothes to pose in some steamy shots for lads’ mag, Ralph.

Kellie, who was one fifth of the hugely popular children’s band for a decade, has caused controversy with the revealing shoot, with family groups saying it sends the wrong message to little girls. A spokeswoman for Kids Free 2B Kids, has told News Ltd the shoot is irresponsible, "Older teenage girls will wonder why performers feel the need to pornify their image,” she said.

“They are damaged and harmed by messages that they need to sexualise or there is no success.”
Kellie's reply?
"After working in children's television for 10 years, and always being pinned into your clothes so no one can see your belly button if you lift your hands up, and always having your cleavage covered, and me being the tomboy of the three girls, it was something I did for myself to remind myself that I am a woman."

Sounds like it was more of..."I don't have a steady income anymore so any sort of exposure (pun intended) will only be good for my bank balance"

Soundtrack Of The Day: Matthew Good - Hospital Music "when 99% of us is failure, theres no going back"

Welcome to Squidring Intro Video

Check out our new welcome video, just one of the many wonders of Squidring.com!

(check out their site to make your own, pretty fun actually)

Listen Like Thieves

With the recent court ruling against TPB/The Pirate Bay (C'mon they had to lose one one day!) I thought Id take a look at some of the articles floating around blog-land and catch peoples takes on the whole situation.

Most say the same thing: The record labels need a wake-up, take off your blinkers and accept that legal or illegal downloads aren't going away. True enough, but this blogger thinks that people will try anything before a dime leaves their wallet, even if they only needed 1!

Choices are very good and really couldn't be better for anyone considering starting a digital music collection. There are also a few dominant worldwide providers that will legally stream music to you on-demand for pocket change. Ive been checking out Spotify today and they offer an unlimited service for 10 Euro a month! Think about that for a second.... that's less $$ than 1 CD per month and you have access to an enormous auto-updating database. Clearly they aren't going to have every random song in the world but if you are that into music you would be spending much more that that anyway. The only catch is you need open access to a decent broadband connection wherever you want to listen so its fine at home but what about the car/shed/office/mp3 player? Every rose has its thorn!

From my reading, sites like TPB and squillions of others avoid legal issues as they aren't actually hosting any of the illegal media themselves. They are just a filesharing hub who link seeders together who do all the dirty stuff. Its alot like the case against Mod-Shops that will 'chip' your gaming machine - THEY aren't playing illegal games, they're just helping. Its the old case of people NOT being made responsible for themselves. I'm fat because of McDonalds, I murdered that dude cos of my X-Box, I downloaded 1TB of music because of torrents - how was I to know it was wrong? Whatever!

Don't get me wrong I'm not being hypocritical here but I think there is still something to be said for owning physical media containing music, namely CDs, LPs even Cassettes. I'm sure this goes way over the heads of Gen-Y but there was a time where your music collection showed a piece of your personality and flicking through someones collection gave you a little insight into who they were. I'm under no illusion that my CDs show I listen to what the guy next to me was listening too! But, that's me, I go hot and cold on things faster than a chinese phonebook, that's right isn't it? With the age of digital and everyone having every song on the planet, this is all but gone. Ooh you have every song ever I can see your a.....a.....NERD.

Anyway enough of a rant today, hope your coffee didn't go cold reading this!

Big shout out to my blog partner today - Happy 30th Brother Wal! Cant wait to chink your alcopop bottle on Sunday mate.

Soundtrack of the Day: My Bucks Drive Uber Compilation.
Quote of the Day: If all teenagers are geniuses, who's that guy serving at Burger King?

Pearls of Wisdom

I am going to push my kids to become medical specialists, what a life style! Having people lined up for your services that you charge at an astronomical fee, workers comp even better!

I have teeth issues, procrastination and my overwhelming fear of pain have lead me to not getting my wisdom teeth out. Now as a result one has smashed my back molar into a couple of pieces and now my other wisdom tooth is infected and my mouth aches like sin and even codeine isnt helping. So the solution? get the pulled! HUZZAH!

So I go to the dentist and he can't do it coz they are so fudged up that i need a specialist. So they give me a list of like 7 recommended ORAL and MAXILLOFACIAL surgeons, they highlight one as the most likely to be the soonest available. So i call her and its like 3 weeks away, far too long to stand this pain (despite the hopeful reprise via antibiotics). So i ring the first guy on the list, they are now taking bookings for NOVEMBER. erm ok. WTF, how busy can one guy get? previously i have enquired at a different place and he was 3 months ahead.

I haven't dared call the rest yet but I'm not holding my breath to get this done anytime soon, anyone who can gimme some home remedies for tooth ache I wanna know.

My pearl of wisdom; if your dentist says "those wisdom teeth will need to come out at some stage" don't wait, just get rid of them, I may end up with no back molars because i didn't!

Face Paint

Went paintballing last night for my first time and I have to say, despite the bruises it was nowhere near as painful as I thought it would be!

I've had the opportunity to go in the past but the push has never been that strong to get on board because it was generally people I didn't know that well. This time however I thought "What the funk!" and went along as it was with work colleagues here who I new just slightly so passed in the hall over 10 times a day in silence. Plus the fact that they are all nerds made me think its a good introduction to the paintball world....not sure how I came to that conclusion as a paintballs a paintball and these guys have so much practice from first person shooter games they make Bruce Willis look like Annie.

It was indoor at Xtreme Leisure in Malaga who were very good for the first timers in the group but hopped through the rules and regs quickly for the people who've heard it each time. I was of course listening intently as the nerves started to rise. Every question I had in my mind, they answered, everything I wanted to know about the gun and shooting etc, they said without prompting.

They took us out there, walked us around the arena, let us fire some practice rounds at a bottle on the roof and it was ON! 6 rounds of 'Team Fortress', 3 rounds of 'Generals' 3 rounds of 'Capture The Flag' (which was captured by me in 1 game!) and 'Respawn' to finish off the balls. 2 Solid hours and a whole lotta sweat later, the grin was from ear to ear!

Today the swelling from my bruises have mostly died down apart from one huge corker on my left forehead hairline, just above my temple. It glanced the top of my face mask and exploded on my head like an orange firework. It feels good to walk around the office sporting a visible injury from the event so I'm more proud than embarrassed at this stage! And anyway... Could I really expect MY head to avoid being hit?

New Pane In The House!

Its only AFL round 3 and the clicking required to get over to the NTC site to find that I STILL suck at tipping winners is too much for my lazy butt.

We've made a quick reference pane which we'll update when the scores are officially released on the NTC site. This should make your lives easier and add another (as if you needed any more) reason to come to squidring.com - Win Win

If you would like another tipster added to the list please let me know and I'll get on it.

Currently as you can see Wal, Shorey and Guhl are joint leaders, the 'Coins' (Kylie and Pat n Meelz) are bringing up the rear and the rest of us are in Middle Earth.....for now.

As usual any changes, get in touch.

Ciao Banana Benders

What kind of rabbit gives you an egg?

Unless I missed something dramatic in Biology class, the last time i checked 'figuratively speaking' bunnys come out looking like bunnys not Mork.

Obviously I COULD look it up on the net to find out where we went wrong with this clear oversight but instead I chose to guess:

10. Middle eastern rabbits lay eggs.
9. An egg saw 10 rabbits walking backwards and said "Hey, Its a Receding Hareline!".
8. All living things must devour eggs as an annual formal protest to NOT create ConeHeads 2 and ruin Dan Aykroyds career....again.
7. A chicken grabbed the rabbits eggs and walked HIM over the road.
6. Rabbits are evil nest ravagers and despise chickens.
5. Sick of the soft cuddly pansy stereotypes, all bunnys are to carry eggs for 4 straight days to PROVE there is something more boring and dull than they are.
4. The hare was was associated with the Pagan celebration of the goddess Eostre, from whom the word Easter is derived. Eostre was associated with fertility, so was connected to both hares and eggs as symbols.
3. The rabbit just heard that once you go white, everythings alright! Cmon he just wanted cream in his coffee!
2. A chicken was responsible for the destruction of Sky-Net in the year 2029 so a lone naked rabbit cyborg was send back to destroy all eggs in the grim hope that one was the chicken - John Connor.
1. All bunnys are actually batteries plugged into an electronic simulation world where they have to harvest eggs for sport in a kind of sadistic ritual known as Easter.

Happy Easter Y'all!
Phil 'The Egg' Dawson

Thanks But Get Packing

For those readers in Western Australia you will be well aware of BankWest's recent decision to axe 400 staff due to the 'financial crisis'. A decision that was made no more than 2 months after promising that the recent merger with CBA would NOT result in any redundancies.

Obviously something dramatic happened between then and now although I think everything is as good or bad as it was so clearly shareholders pockets need filling and the crisis is a terrfic excuse to axe the soldier ants that DO the work they're plastering all over the TV in AD campaigns.

Everyone here in our office has been totally shocked and have sat, head down - bum up, since the announcement either to show they're busy or just hide and hope for the best. I've been perched relatively blazay about the whole thing, not because I felt safe but because I just couldnt be bothered worrying about it...... ces't la vie, life goes on!

The reason for the post today is there was an internal announcement here and it seems the clouds have passed our building and moved on. A few people here have now come forward to say that, Yes, they were made redundant and it really crushes you to hear about their concerns and fears on their financial future, whether they are justified or not. Hearing, "She'll be right" doesnt seem to cut it.

My contract was extended 2 weeks ago for another 3 months so I'm in the clear for now but have no doubt that I'll be sent packing after that. Im not saying that in a bitter tone, it's just the life of a contractor really and that's the deal, like it or loathe it.

Hope you are all ready and raring for a full filled Easter break, here in the West we have some awesome weather to soak up before temps turn southward for the Winter. Last one to the beach is a rotten egg!..........eww

Planet of the Apes is nigh...

A monkey who tired of being forced to climb trees to pick coconuts killed his owner with a well-aimed coconut.

The owner died immediately from the monkey's throw from the top of a tree in the Thai Province of Nakorn Sri Thammarat, according to the Samui Express newspaper.

The newspaper said that Leilit Janchoom, 48, had beaten the monkey whenever he showed any hesitance to climb a tree.

The owner was insistent because he got the equivalent of 4p for every coconut picked.

But the monkey - it is claimed - apparently found the work boring, strenuous and unrewarding.

Beware of spanking your monkey!

Its a LOCAL town for LOCAL people

A small village in Buckinghamshire has turned its back on world technology and refused to allow Google to catalog its streets.

Broughton, north of London has recently endured an escalation in crime so when Google came-a knockin', the townsfolk formed a human barricade across the street and stopped them in their tracks.

The villagers called the police and verbally slammed the driver, accusing him of invasion of privacy. A local resident was quoted "My immediate reaction was anger, how dare anyone take a photograph of my home without my consent?"

Of course Google played their 'its public property card' followed by 'what law did we break'. They also reminded the public that anyone can remove their house from the service and they blur faces/vehicle number plates for privacy reasons.

So what has this town got to hide? How can NOT showing itself on Google Street assist in their dilemma? I agree that people can NOT want themselves, their family or family home to be photographed and I really don't think they need to justify their reasoning but to claim all this privacy garbage on behalf of the whole town and call the police etc seems way over the line.

Ironically as this has made worldwide news, they will probably get a massive influx of people into the town taking photos and blowing their 'privacy' out of the water. Haven't they heard the expression "Don't hate the player, hate the game!"

Shoe-merang

Throwing shoes as a protest is all the rage these days, but who wants to lose a loafer in these tough economic times? Don't despair, we're here to help.

Introducing the Shoe-merang — a stylish classic brown oxford that returns to you when you throw it! Developed by an Australian cobbler, you just tuck the wooden extension on the back of the shoe neatly up your pant leg. Then, when someone says something you disagree with in a public place, you simply remove your shoe and throw.

It's much simpler than communicating a rational response in a constructive way and a whole lot faster. Also, this shoe has no metal parts, so it will easily pass through security.

Perfect for PTA Meetings, Courtrooms, Parliament Hour, Getting Fathers4Justice off a building and the G20 conference.

Who is smarter : Phil or a coin??

thats right folks after footy tipping round 1 the coin is up on Phil

Scoreboard reads as follows
Phil - 4
Kylie (aided by a coin) - 5
Patch & Meelz (aided by a coin) - 6
Warren - 7

COINS 2
PHIL 0

Stool Sample

An eye-witness account was presented to Police when an Ohio man, Kile Wygle was nabbed drunk driving on his way home from the local watering hole. The report shows that the offender was driving in an erratic manner uncommon with the usual driving practices on the street..................OH and the other small point that the vehicle was a lawn mower/bar stool hybrid!

I say he was nabbed but in actual fact he was so intoxicated officers found Wygle on the ground with his wrecked bar stool nearby. I can't understand why, I mean, it sounds safe enough - get an old Briggs + Stratton mower, rig it to power the wheels instead of the rotor, whack some steering on it, steal a bar stool and bob's yar aunty.

Although when you test drove it and realised it can go 40mph (~65kph) the alarm bells might start ringing. That could have been one of the things that flashed through his mind when he called 911 on HIMSELF due to his injuries while only going 20mph.

He was charged with a DUI and driving with a suspended license. His bar stool was not impounded.