The White Stripe

So the 2009 AFL season is behind us and it seems some valuable blog real estate has become available until next years round of NTC Footy Tipping.

I'm putting the call out to the brain trust, that's you, to come up with an idea for what to put in the new white space. Could be something funny, could be something serious or it could even be something pointless and pathetic.

All ideas will be bagged by other readers so prepare your feelings for some bitch slapping and a barrage of mis-directed inappropriate comments.

So what do you want to see? Weather updates? Porn? Comics? Joke of the Day? Word of the Day? Knob of the Day? A live video feed of me at my desk picking my nose?

Seed planted - grow thoughts.....

Song Of The Day: Seven Nation Army......what else!
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Weekly WTF: Grater Paper

Happy Arthurs Day 2009

Couldn't possibly let an event such as this pass by without blogging the heck out of it but where do you start with something as monumental as Guinness?

How about a few quick facts:

1. Despite numerous 'findings' and several published articles, Guinness has never been brewed from the water in the River Liffey nearby.

2. 250 years ago Arthur Guinness signed a 9000 year lease for the unused brewery and land @ £45 per annum! It took 10 years for them to start exporting to England and even then it was only 6 barrels. Today the company has an annual turnover over 16 billion.

3. In 2005 the brewing of Guinness in Park Royal, London was canned (pardon the pun) and all brewing was returned to St James Gate, Dublin.

Despite its reputation as a "meal in a glass", Guinness only contains 838 kilojoules per pint which is fewer than skimmed milk, orange juice and most other non-light beers. It is not suitable for vegetarians as the production process uses isinglass (a fish extract) to settle suspended matter in the vats. It is known to have high levels of Iron which can become depleted whilst pregnant, so alot of women drink a pint per week in the last trimester when the risks of alcohol related fetal damage are lower.

Guinness was labeled as a healthy drink in the 1920's from research that showed people felt good after drinking one (wonder why!) The campaign ran for 50 years until someone 'told' them to stop. Today they are very firm about making no health claims for the drink and run advertisements for responsible drinking instead.

Guinness has been sold in a vast number of varieties and packaging over the years and they always remain the forefront of marketing and advertising across the globe. Sadly in Australia we only have access to 2 types, Guinness Draught and Guinness Extra Stout. Note: If you have ever had the misfortune of tasting Guinness Extra Stout, my condolences to you and your family - Please skip to the last paragraph. 3rd in the distribution stakes is Guinness Red which (I believe) is only available on tap, is very common throughout England and how I miss thee!

We checked out the Guinness Factory/Storehouse in November 2003 and I thoroughly recommend it to anyone visiting Dublin. Nothings fresher than a Guinness at their Sky Bar after the tour - sweeeeeeet!

On your way home from the daily grind today, stop off at your local, pick up a few Guinnii and reminisce the night away. Hopefully whoever you're drinking with hasn't read this and you can impress them with your knowledge of Guinness history!

Sláinte!
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On The Road Again

So it seems I'm moving offices again. After 1 year (on the dot) of leaving CSC/WA Police in East Perth and basking in the warm Bankwest Leederville bliss, I'm being shipped back!

In a few weeks my team is moving out of Frame Crt Leederville and being relocated to 199 Hay St which is waaaaaaaaaaay down towards the WACA, in the middle of nowhere. At first everyone was happy because when you hear 'Hay St' you assume its near the CBD - no sir-reee bob. You could see the gloom over the faces as they googled the address and realised they were moving to hell.

The powers that be continually claimed that its only temporary until the new Raine Square building is complete...........whenever that is. Its already overdue as far as I know and there are at least 18 months remaining. Hardly a silver lining in my view.

There were a few mumbles and gurgles from the guys in the announcement but as usual, cos I'm contracting, I can't say boo. The one bit of good news is the nearest lunch bar sells the ultimate chicken schnitzel burger and that sweet taste will be hitting the lips on a very regular basis - expect the waistline to grow even more.

So it's been bliss in Leederville but the honeymoon is officially over baby, its never gunna be that wayyyyyyyyyyyyy again.
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Oktoberferal

There has been alot of water cooler talk about the guy who was killed at Oktoberfest on Monday. I've quickly googled it and the headlines read:

'Queensland reveller killed at Oktoberfest'
'One Aussie dead, one arrested at Oktoberfest'
'Aussie Oktoberfest reveller dies'

I know the headlines are supposed to suck you in but surely the bigger story here is 'Aussie Twats Swarm Munich!'. The death is clearly a tragedy but the more you read about it the more you think, "Well what did you expect would happen?".

The guys wife and mates retired for the day and headed back, leaving him at the festival alone. He hooked up with another bloke (as you do!) later on when it closed for the long stagger back. They were staying at the infamous and well published/criticised campsite in Laim, a few train stops south of the festival. He was reportedly hit by a train when he was running along the tracks at 1.20am(!), 2 hours after the tents kick you out. Again, tragic of course but running along the tracks - WTF!?!?

Another Aussie bloke was arrested for hurling his stein into the crowd on day 1: hour 4 of the festival! As you would expect, it hit 2 people and cut them on impact - who the hell are these people?

If I was the organiser of the most world renowned beer festival in the world, I would be going on record saying "If you're a tool, stay at home". These kinds of incidents leave a sour taste in my mouth as to the caliber of Aussies travelling abroad and what this makes other countries think of us.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not totally innocent at Oktoberfest either but I'd consider sneaking steins out of the grounds relatively minor in comparison to these shenanigans.

What do you think?

Weekly WTF: Benedictaphone

How Do We Sleep While Our Legs Are Burning....

What are your legs? Steel Springs - Remember that classic line from Gallipoli? Well I've been thinking long and hard about it since Saturday night!

After a full day in the garden, making it good time friendly for our fast approaching BBQ season, my legs are absolutely killing me. Its very odd indeed as I can't say I've had it happen before. No doubt a direct result of a fat fuelled diet and lack of exercise but yet, its still a shock!

Another reason I was slaving away in the outdoors was that we have yet another rental inspection ........sigh........ will Perth ever catch up to the ways of the world? Doubtful, but one of the things I still find shocking is how anal Perth real estate places are about ongoing inspections etc. Are they just shafting the owner buy taking a little bit of commission every time? Ours are every 3 months and I've never experienced the level wankerisms our inspectoress dishes out.

Here are my top 5:

5. Their Comment 'Dust on the extractor fan over the shower' My Thoughts 'and?'
4. Their Comment 'Lawns not mowed for inspection' My Thoughts 'are they overgrown? no, messy? no, dead? no - so just shutup'
3. Their Comment 'Boxes in spare room' My Thoughts 'ummm, are you somehow surprised that our belongings are inside the house?!? last I checked we can do what we like with the rooms'
2. Their Comment 'Winter weeds near back fence' My Thoughts 'its winter'
1. Their Comment 'Dirty lightswitch' My Thoughts 'get out of my house'

Kinda reminds me of our first rental in Kingsley where we had to go back and finish cleaning properly. Somehow forgot to tell us that all we forgot was to wipe the dust off the toilet roll holder in the ensuite. Thanks a bunch.
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The Grey Asphalt Road

Follow the grey asphalt road, follow the grey asphalt road
Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow the grey asphalt road
Follow the grey-asphalt, follow the grey-asphalt
Follow the grey-asphalt road

We're off to play at Binningup the wonderful Binningup Golf Course
We'll find it is the best of the best if ever the best there was
If ever, oh ever, a course there was, it would be the best because
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the wonderful holes it has
We're off to play at Binningup the wonderful Binningup Golf Course!

Not quite the Emerald City but does a building that looks like a milk carton count? Milk carton or mouse.....I'll leave it to you.

2 sleeps until the grand opening. I can tell you're as excited as I am so lets get planning the golf trek today.
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Vacuum Robot

Anyone out there using a robotic Vacuum cleaner these days?

I've been throwing the idea around in my head and bank balance but I just cant decide. $440+ is alot for something that might not work very well.

There are 3 different kinds for sale here:
1. Vacuum Robot
2. Roomba
3. PlusA Alpha Robot

Of course when you read the site, they are the best ever, work everywhere, suck up everything, never need charging and you should be locked up for not having one.

A guy here has the Roomba and he says its OK but has to pull out the vacuum cleaner to get stuck into deeper carpet or tricky areas. As far as I'm concerned that's a FAIL. We don't have any deep stuff and our whole place is 1 level so we might be ok there. There are little plastic joiners where the wooden floors join onto the carpet that I'm worried about. It might think its a wall and not go in any bedrooms or worse, get stuck and not clean! eeek

So anyone got one that can help me out?

Fink Tank

CAUTION: SERIOUS POSTING
Ask anybody that knows me and they will agree that I over-think everything.

What I mean by over-think is an over excited inner monologue you have with yourself about someone or something. It could be a statement someone has made, a big event or decision coming up in your life or just about any little thing really. It can be something as simple as the arcade cabinet ideas flitting around in my head or what I SHOULD have said to that dude at work when he was a smart arse earlier. Haha

I'm not entirely sure what causes it but perhaps its a semi-conscious defense mechanism to keep you out of trouble or alternatively is it a way of isolating yourself to think everything through to the 'N'th degree? On the other hand, if you don't speak openly and just bottle your thoughts around in your head, what do you achieve? Quite a pickle.

I know that you're all thinking "Ooooooooooo he's about to spill something huge" but I'm just brain dribbling onto the keyboard Ok!

I think (see there I go again) an extension of it is to see all outcomes of a situation. Remember that scene from The Matrix where Neo is surrounded by everything he 'might' do next, imagine that's me but the negative TV screens are bigger than the positive ones on the walls. I often get branded a worry-wart or just generally negative but the truth of it is quite simple: They're just the things I SAY aloud. I still think the good things and see the positives but my brain decides that everyone else can see those too so why bring it up!

Recently I've been trying to 180 my head, plainly see and speak the positives first and just bear in mind the other gaff. I'm sure Kylie will agree that its had a mix-mashed outcome and sometimes she has NO idea what I'm thinking but every journey must start with a step, as they say.

Hopefully this article won't send me to the psych couch but I was just wondering if anyone else had a vaguely similar mindset. Comment or not...as always its up to you... :P

Only 1 more day till the weekend skaters!
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Eye Foan Phluph

It's been a while since I posted about the iPhone so I thought I'd write a little blurb about the new games I've downloaded just incase any of you guys have secretly run out and bought one! All ratings are how well it does what it says, meaning if you download Hangman, you already kinda know what your gunna get!

DrinkTracker - Since I installed it and wrote about it previously, they've released a few updates which are quite cool. In addition to creating a 'session' of drinks, they've incorporated the iPhone's GPS so you can also tell it where you drank them. You can either plug in the address or just say 'here' and it will add your current location as a session favourite.

Recently it has taken further steps so it can tell you how to get from place to place. EG: If it knows I'm drinking at home and I tell it I want to go out, it asks: Where to? How you want to get there? (walk/bus/taxi/drive) and if you choose drive and you are over the BAC limit it will bring up your contact list or if you choose taxi it will search for local taxi operators which you can call. Either way it will direct you to your selected drinking hole. 8/10

Spider: The Secret of Bryce Manor - I've only just installed this and so far it's been very impressive. The basic concept is your given a small area to catch bugs in and once you've captured your bug quota, a portal opens which you jump into to move onto the next area. You catch bugs either by creating webs on their flight path or by jumping and physically catching them. You have a limited amount of silk strands and can move about the screen by crawling or jumping.

I haven't delved into other areas of the game but from reading reviews online it seems there are is alot more than meets the eye here. Adventure modes, Murder mystery's, time challenges etc. Worth a look. 9/10

FlightControl - I downloaded this one because of the raving reviews online and to be honest when I first started playing it, I thought I'd been jipped. However its one of those games that get you hooked - just one more try, oh one more, yeah one more quick go.... 3 hours later.....! Its really simple to describe, its a top down view of an airport runway system, 3 kinds of planes flying in and you have to direct them to land without crashing. The game keeps going until you crash, no levels, no timers just a final total of aircraft landed. There are 3, make that 4 with an update last night ;), runway systems to play on and try for your best score.

It also has a bluetooth peer to peer game style but I haven't tried it cos no one else has it here! Highly addictive 8/10

Boxed In - Your basic 'move boxes onto targets and get to the goal' type game. It's quite good and reasonably challenging so you will definitely waste a decent amount of time here. 7/10

Cross Light - Haven't found a decent crossword program for the iPhone and this one isn't an exception! 4/10

Hangman - Only download if you're really bored or you really need a laugh. The words are ridiculously hard to super basic so it covers all areas. Everything from Chemical Elements to Disney Movie Titles! It does have a 2 player mode so you can play with a mate/child/monkey if you so desire. If they don't believe the word you have entered in is an actual word they can quickly hit 'Define' and see for themselves......or catch you out! 9/10

Those of you still awake.... Congrats!
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Weekly WTF: Ship Logos

Has anyone noticed the resemblance the Blue Peter logo has to The Pirate Bay?
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So Very Tired

Not sure exactly what happened over the weekend but it definitely wasn't sleep.

Set a new personal best on pressing 'Snooze' on the alarm today and still woke up feeling like I hadn't just been lying there for 7 hours. You know its late when the clock radio kicks in with the smooth stylings of your station of choice but you sleep until it goes off again!

Made a very slow belated start on the arcade cabinet yesterday afternoon after driving from Toodyay to Welshpool then home, collecting a television and delivering a rocking horse. I know, what an exciting life I lead! Took the television apart only to realise I have to heavily mod the cabinet to fit it in. Imagine a perfect screen harness mounted in there but to get the screen in you need to take everything else apart! An all too common par for the course I'm afraid.

Around 6pm my body stopped, literally leaving me surrounded in the mess of at least 3 projects on the go. I did manage to scrape myself up and put everything away so tonight I can just drop.

On a brighter note, I was able to take the Moke for a decent run to blow the cobwebs out of the engine bay which I'm really happy about. Apart from needing a jump start (well its been sitting for months!) it went flawlessly so I'm really keen for the weather to improve so I can use it on a more regular basis.

Peas Out

Arcadia Projecta

So here's my first draft of the new control panel layout, what dya think?

As you can see its for up to 4 players with a big trackball in the centre for playing games like golf etc. The joystick ball tops will be colour coded to match the buttons for that player, I just didn't have the time to draw them all!

Player 1 and 2 have 6 buttons each for fighter style games while Player 3 and 4 only have 4 each because no 4 player game needs more than 4 buttons. Each player has a start button (the one's with little men on them) and a plain white button alongside to simulate coin drops/credits for that person. The black buttons in the centre are left and right mouse buttons because the trackball acts as a mouse when your not in a game. There may end up being a third black one which will be a game escape button but I haven't decided yet as there are other ways of exiting games.

Hopefully the control panel itself wont remain black as I'm trying to source some artwork for it. At this stage I'm picturing a triangular black band down the middle surrounding the trackball mounting plate and red/blue/yellow/green bands coming down surrounding the joystick and buttons of that colour. Definitely a work in progress at this stage so any suggestions for styles will be welcomed!

I'm picking up the buttons and joysticks tonight and apparently its going to rain all weekend so I should be able to make a start tomorrow. Bought some crappy wood last night to make a couple of templates before the final one is made when the trackball arrives from the US in a fortnight.

Hoping to have the whole thing complete in a month or so, ready and raring for upcoming barbies and festive gatherings at our joint.

Clutterbox

I was listening to talkback radio the other day (I know, excitement +) and they had a guest speaker on who discussed ways and means of ridding your life of clutter. I found it interesting so you might too!

Some of the steps are a little extreme but I suppose you ARE dealing with people who have wall-to-wall crud and are in dire need of an intervention before vermin take over. The 5 steps to a clutter-less life are:

1. Everyday for 1 week, walk around the house/shed/garage with 2 garbage bags. Fill one with rubbish and one with items to give to charity. At the end of the week you will have 14 bags leaving, never to return.

2. Go to your bedroom closet and turn all the coathangers so that they all face the same way. As you wear, wash and return your clothes, hang them the opposite way. After 6 months or maybe a year if you still have clothes unturned, to charity they go.

3. As Jimeoin says, "The 3rd drawer from the top.......is just full'a shit!". Take everything out of your 3rd kitchen drawer (or whatever drawer is the crap drawer in your place) and chuck it into a box. Put the box on the counter for 1 month and everything you use, put it back in the drawer. If there is anything left in the box, consider dealing with it appropriately.

4. Alot of clutter around the home comes in via the letterbox. If you haven't organised a workable filing system at home, do it asap. It may take some time to setup and get used to but having a one stop paperwork shop is a godsend when you need to find something quickly. Insurance docs, receipts, manuals, payslips, tax returns etc are all in their respective sections, readily accessible when needed. Have an Inbox next to your PC and when emptying the letterbox, deal with it then and there. If it needs paying, INBOX IT, if it just needs filing, FILE IT and better yet, if it needs binning, BIN IT!

5. The last step surrounds kids toy tubs. Whether you have kids or not, chances are you may have a tub of toys should any tiny tots come over and need entertainment. As a new toy is introduced to your child, in order for it to fit in the tub, another toy must come out and go to charity. This is supposed to have a few benefits other than a clutter-free home. It helps them to understand they cant have everything, that giving to charity is helpful to those less fortunate and over time they may even hesitate before wanting everything in the toy aisle at the shops....... but I wouldn't hold my breath on that last one!

So what do you think?
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New Perth Bunbury Highway

For reason unknown to me, I'm excited about the upcoming Bunbury freeway extension.

Personally it wont benefit me a great deal but the fact that work is being done to extend and develop Perth is terrific in my book. Sure, for the few times I shoot down south further than Mandurah per year it will make a substantial difference to the journey time but the real winners are the people of Mandurah.

The Old Coast Road (OCR) that divides Mandurah is like a poison vein running straight through it. Even on a normal weekend the traffic is unbelievable so if you were a resident who wanted to pop to the shops, you'd be thinking again. Coaches, South West Tours, Heavy Trucks, OAP's towing caravans, Rockingham bogans and all the regular cars/bikes had no choice whatsoever if they we're southbound.

The extension to the freeway will open on the 20th of this month and will be called the Kwinana till Mandurah then the Forrest Highway to its end. If you don't know, Sir John Forrest (pictured) was a famous West Australian explorer/treasurer/premier who was born in Bum-Furry, I mean Bunbury. They have estimated that it will cut driving time to Bunbury and beyond by 30 mins each way which brings alot more places within reach for a weekender. Bunbury seemed far at 2 hours but 90 mins will bring it back into the game for some people. Even Donnybrook will be under 2 hours now :P

If you want to have a read of the finer details, check out the MainRoads website here or alternatively if you just want to see a new map click here.

For all those environmentalists out there you'll be happy to know that there's 14 fauna underpasses too, that's 4 more than there are intersections! There is a certain golf course (which will remain nameless) that will definitely get a few more players I'm sure. Even I might come out of retirement for a trek down there!

El Pee Gee

The Hyden road trip, apart from ticking off a few of WA's hot spots, was a great way to test out the new vehicle in its more natural environment and see for myself how it performs.

Clearly theres alot more room in it than any other car we've had (probably combined) but I was interested to know how the LPG economy performed and how quickly it was going to start putting cash back into my wallet. While I didnt pay for the conversion myself, when looking at cars over the last few months it was a strong consideration if our choice wasnt on 'Dual Fuel'. Conversion prices ranged anywhere from $1500 to $2500 depending on injection and additional auto cutover components etc and after speaking to a mob in Balcatta, they reckon our car cost about $1700 to convert.

Yesterday I entered our entire trip into Google Maps which plotted our course from the petrol station I filled up at to each town and I stopped it about where the gas ran out. Apparently I drove 365kms on LPG when I had to flick over to petrol. I used petrol the whole way back to Perth and filled both tanks from the same petrol station when we got close to home. Here are the stats:

There (Warwick -> York -> Wave Rock)
365kms, 62L used, 16L/100kms
Cost $32 = $8.76/100kms

Back (Wave Rock -> Beverley -> Mundaring Weir -> Warwick)
396kms, 57L used, 14L/100kms
Cost $72 = $18.18/100kms

So in summary, it cost me $40 extra to drive back and we only went 30kms further. Also factor in that this was a long drive with extensive time at a relatively low rpm. As its our non-primary car lets assume we do 10000kms a year in it and we're saving roughly $10 per 100kms - thats math even I can do! 1 fat Magilla Gorilla per year.
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Gr8 V8's?

I've been checking out the V8 Supercars website today cos I was interested to know when they were headed west again as I thought I'd missed out this year. Turns out I haven't and better yet, its coming up soon.

The 'Bigpond 300' @ Barbagallo Raceway will be held on Saturday the 21st and Sunday 22nd November. Saturday's itinerary is qualifying from 10:30, Top 10 Shootout from 11:30 and racing from 2 till 3pm with a bit of a break for lunch. Sunday is racing from 1.30 to 3pm.

Tickets are around $65 for presale ($75 for 'at-the-gate') so if anyone is interested, let me know cos I'd be keen to check it out one of the days. Haven't been in bloody years so my inner bogan needs a revival.

While I was trying to find out dates, times and prices I checked out the events calendar for Barbagallo's. Lots of fluff, burnout comps, hill climbs, private practice bla-di-blah then HELLLLOOOO 'Japanese Wholesale Spares Drift Series Round 1' - Saturday 3rd October. Am I interested? F'ken oath I'm interested!!!!!! and I've just bought a Mitsubishi!!!!!

Band wagon is rolling, if you want on, let me know.

Beached Az

The much loved and VERY much talked about 'Beached Az' youtube.com clip is television bound.

According to a write up on thewest.com.au today, the new show named 'Beached Az' will air this Thursday, 9.25pm on ABC2.

I don't want to plagiarize so click here for the full article.

It's well worth a read if your interested or even if you've never heard of it actually! It depicts a sort of modern 'fame' and what the creators think about it. A couple of my favourite quotes from the article are:

"So you're not too impressed with yourself if people watch crap on YouTube, unfortunately."

Speaking about a New Zealanders opinion of it "I think it's one of the first jokes about New Zealand that hasn't been about sheep, I think they were happy that was the case."

Via thewest.com.au

Weekly WTF: Captastic

Wave Rock

11 People set out from rainy Perth on schedule on Saturday morning for the much hyped, Hyden/Wave Rock mini roadtrip.

We set out east (yes that kinda helps) to York then cut our way through the endless stunning Canola fields to Quairading then down to Corrigin which is the unofficial home of the 'Dog in a Ute' and apparently the word 'Bugger'. Not the dirty UK definition but the wholesome family friendly word that aussies use when they REALLY want to say F$%K!

After Corrigin we called into Kondinin to pick up some supplies for our planned BBQ lunch. Kondinin has a population of about 300 (thanks Wikipedia) and 299 of them must have had something better to do at 1pm Saturday because all the shops were closed apart from a Golden Fleece service station with no food whatsoever. Time to hit the road.....next stop - The Rock.

Wave Rock is a couple of k's east of Hyden so we had one last chance to pick up some BBQ essentials on our way. As we drove into town, all eyes were looking for shops and low and behold a huge new IGA came into sight like a mirage!..............but it was also closed. Bugger!

After lunch and a small dent was made in the port-a-keg we headed over for our first view of the masterpiece. We arrived at the rock around 2.30-3 just as a tour coach was leaving, GOLD! We walked up and we were the only people there so all appropriate surfing shots were able to be taken at will. After hearing so many bad stories about Wave Rock I was pleasantly surprised that it was pretty good! It stands about 15m height and it's around 100m long so you can get a pretty good idea in your head before you arrive. What you can't picture is how slippery it is and what it feels like to stand under the highest point and look up at the curl towering over you.....very cool indeed. After a few million more photos (evidence of being there!) we took a walk around onto the top of it, through the bush to Hippo's Yawn then back to base camp.

Before leaving the area we drove up to Mulka's Cave and saw the handprints of yesteryear. Worth seeing while you're there but - Meh, I think the story of it is far more impressive and spooky than the cave itself. Off back to Hyden to check in and kick back finally.

Yesterday we packed up to head home, called into Beverley for a decent counter meal, watched Jhett walk around for a while, yes walk, then went off the beaten track as we bee-lined to Mundaring Weir. Did a spot of touristing there, threw a couple of hard-earned dollars off the edge, hoovered an icecream and shot home.

I for one had a great trip and it was great to get out of Perth, albeit for a couple of days. Thanks to: Kevin and Lyn bringing and cooking the lunch, Rez for the keg brewing and Mike for the beer dispenser idea commitment and execution.

Wave Rock - Tick
York - Tick
Beverley - Tick
Mundaring Weir - Tick
Dog Cemetery - Tick

2 Days, 1 Keg, 750kms, 1 Rock, 11 People, 3 Cars, 2 Turtle Doves and a Partriiiiidge in a Pear Tree.

Hollywood CPR

One of my e-friends (friends that aren't really friends but you get a funny email from them every now and then......you know who you are!) sent me this pic today which got me giggling. How many times can they play this old record over and over. I'm sure some poor sap will have watched so many shows on the box and tried to perform it in real life.

There is of course an alternate ending: Usually only seen in hospitals, the doctors have finally given up trying to resuscitate the patient, there's a sad moment as they unhook the heart monitor and all heads in the room look to the ground in helplessness. Then from nowhere, a courageous relative or loved one with absolutely no medical knowledge whatsoever literally flies into the room and slams their clenched fist directly onto the corpses heart with all their might. Instead of dieing again from 6-7 broken ribs now protruding into their organs, the patient sits up erect with a huge reviving gasp seemingly unaware their soul is now residing in their next incarnation!

It also helps if you're Chuck Norris!

....or if you watch a certain show with Jennifer Love Hewitt, after you die you can just walk around until someone else dies and jump on into their body. But that's the easy way isn't it.

Click the pic for a larger, legible version. Hope it brings a smile to your dial.

Performance and Cocktails

Finally got around to taking a complete pic of the cocktail cabinet! By now most of you have seen it and used it but for those that haven't, wha-la.

Essentially its an old school, fish 'n chip shop cocktail cab but without the eyesore factor. Rather than being a 'landscape' design where you face the long edge and the joysticks protrude like ugly ducklings, the glass covers the entire thing in a 'portrait' fashion. This means for first time users, there will be a 5 second realization that you cant see the buttons while you're playing. As it's best practice to look at the screen, it's not an issue! If there's still confusion, ask a 2-3 year old to find them as its @ perfect eye height. :P

In the guts there's a PC (P4 with 512 if your interested) running Mame/MaLa. As the guts aren't quickly accessible, I've configured it to all turn on when the power is which makes life simple. One power lead running from the unit, flick it on at the wall when you want to play, windows starts then disappears behind 'MaLa'.

MaLa is a Mame GUI which is basically a fully customisable front end for Mame arcade gaming. Throw it into windows start-up and it will load a game list full screen. You can choose what/where/who to display on it so as you configure the games on the PC you can add them to the list. Using the joystick, you select the game you want and hit 1P Start - Done. Its a way of making the experience NOT feel like its on a PC which is always good.

It also contains shortcut keys to shut down the PC straight from the menus so, in theory, there's no need to see the windows backend component at all. After shutdown, flick it off at the wall and Bobs your distant relative...you know, a mate of your cousins uncles or something.

In all I'm really happy with how it turned out, it's a great way of having loungeroom arcading without having to look at a huge 2m tall cab with joysticks everywhere (like the new one!). When the screen is off it looks like a completely black sheet of glass and it also has the double plus of being flat so you could chuck a tablecloth over it and use it as a normal table if need be.

Enough from me.

Soundtrack of the Day: Can't you tell from the post title? Stereophonics - Just Enough Education to Perform - "The handbaaaaags and the gladraaaaags thaaaat-cha pooooooor old graaandad had to sweat to buy-ya"

Y'all Comment-ators

I've been advised by a fellow online dribbler slash blogger slash superhero that commenting on squidring.com has been a little flakey of late.

In light of this I've adopted a different style of commenting which I hope will be more compatible with the vast range of browsers, java and flash versions you may be running on your machine. Hopefully it will mean that each and every time you wish to spill your opinion we will remain your trusted online outlet.

Arcade cabinet plans have moved forward and the R&D dept are at full speed in order to deliver a new well oiled machine. In front of me as I write this is a 4 player control panel mock up that I've drawn up so next will probably be a template from balsa wood before the final big boy is assembled.

Thoughts of colours and styles are coming and going and idea juices are squishing on marquee, control panel and side art.

Happy Wednesday all and I hope it's everything you wished and dreamed for.............. or something.

Soundtrack Of The Day: Linkin Park - Meteora

New Arcade Carcass

Last night we ventured down to the southern portion of Perth (and locked the doors of course!) to collect the new arcade project!

I've chosen the ugliest of the photos I took last night so that it looks more impressive when its all sleek and sexy. Im planning a completely new 4 player control panel with trackball for endless drunken London Golden Tee re-enactments!

We're off to Hyden this weekend so apart from general cleaning and investigating it will be staying as pictured for at least a few days. A ton more research and development will have to be done before a finger is laid on this soon-to-be masterpiece.

Don't let the picture fool you, this thing is bloody enormous, weighs a ton and hasn't even got a screen or PC fitted yet! Ive started sourcing the new parts from a local guy and there are bound to be a few too many Bunnings (that's like B&Q Simon!) trips in the next week.

Totally stoked with the cab so far, can't wait to get started on the reconstruction.

.....and Yes, this one will be fitted with drink holders! More updates to come as I unveil ideas but in the meantime think big!