No I'm not announcing the release of a new Rocky flick or a porno. In T-minus 14 days I will have reached a mature enough level to adequetly shake my fist at anything or anyone I disagree with, just like an old fuddy-duddy.The fist shake in itself is a noble status symbol, opening displaying your opinion that you think you're being hard-done-by. For this reason it was deemed necessary to have 30 years of life experience to fully understand what should be considered 'fair play' and to start to develop a biased, narrow minded, judgemental outlook on everyone else whether they care or not.
Let me explain: Someone drives past my house faster than I'd like, fist shake, light sprinkle of rain just after I've washed my car, fist shake, lose a close carpark to a younger rival, fist shake, jedi son refusing to join the dark side and rule the galaxy together, fist shake, politician on TV cutting the pension allowance again, fist shake, kids want to put me in a home, fist shake, birds crapping on my favourite lawn chair, fist shake, kids walking around with a smart-arse look on their face - SHAKE THAT FIST GRANDAD!
I have also set myself a reminder to add this link to my favourites on my birthday so I can keep up to date with what the rest of the world is shaking their fists at. http://www.ishakemyfistatyou.com/. It also has clear instructions for the lost art of fist shaking:
How To Shake Your Fist
(1) Lift Arm
(2) Make a Fist
(3) Narrow Eyes and Scowl
(4) Shake Fist
(5) Say "I shake my fist at you, _________!"
While I had never considered Step 5, I've realised it may be important if your in a social situation and need to confirm your fist shake's intended recipient. Nothing's more awkward than a fist shake misfire.
For those that are still under 30yo, I bit you adieu, but hang in there - your time of the fist is coming! For the rest of you old farts, look out, my fist could be heading your way soon.
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6 comments:
"start to develop a biased, narrow minded, judgemental outlook on everyone else whether they care or not."
That took you a lot less than 30 years Phil ;)
i was judging from the womb but not combined with a clenched waving fist
:P
Dude, I shake my fist at you! I've been fist shaking since I was about 22.
I'm too old to lift my arm and shake the fist effectively. I content myself now with a tourettes level of swearing at anyone who annoys me like those idiots who wear their trousers round their knees... PULL YOUR TROUSERS UP YOU FILTHY PIECE OF DISTENDED RECTUM.
Oh. My. Goodness. Simon are you a Red Dwarf fan? Or just that hilarious naturally?
Anne, I would have to say, in all modesty, I am a comic genius.
(But yes, also a Dwarf fan... you must come visit my blog... http://www.stmthoughts.blogspot.com)
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