Weekly WTF - ???

Remi Kart

Real life mario kart through Paris - Select your player! Some nut job has re-enacted Mario Kart with real life traffic and as you'd expect its frikkin hilarious! Enjoy

Only In America

-- from Gizmodo.com.au

Ashley Agerenza is a Floridian mum with a desperate need for a spray on tan.

So desperate in fact that she tried to take her seven-month-old baby into Extreme Tan and Smoothies (real place) with her, only to find that infants weren’t welcome.

So she did what any desperately pale mother would do:

1. locked that baby in the car by herself with the engine running
2. attacked the cop who tried to arrest her for negligence
3. took two Taser blasts for her trouble

Sadly the article doesn't confirm if her tan looked great while convulsing on the carpark pavement.

Where Are You Judy?

I don't normally post about current articles in the papers but just can't help myself this time. Check out this 'story':

http://www.perthnow.com.au/news/western-australia/off-duty-cop-charged-with-assaulting-girl-17/story-e6frg13u-1226006195167

Granted its PerthNow so you need to allow for the added level of unnecessary horror and scare-mongering. I mean, who can forget the gripping article on the fact that its going to be hot this summer - save yourself!

Assuming you've now read the article, it begs a small WTF. I realise that no one may know exactly what happened but you've got the word of a 37 yo Pilbara cop vs a 17 yo who hit the ground hurting her THUMB! yes thumb.

The cop is facing charges of aggravated assault and has been temporarily stood down from duty. Holy hell, what do real assaults get? What if he had have I dunno - ACTUALLY HURT HER. So now we've lost a pilbara cop until the trial and, while his name isn't published, all the boys in khaki will know who it is and his reputation is shot forever.

Can we not enlist a 'Judge Judy' level of government that looks at these cases and stares blankly at the prosecuter before shouting "Get the f$%k outa my office!"
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Birds Too Angry?

If you have an iPhone, iPad, iTouch or Android, chances are you own the Angry Birds application.

They have released regular updates for it steadily for around a year but mid October they discovered a way to make a few extra $$. Release a new app!

Angry Birds Seasons graced the apple store and was snavvled faster than a donut in the Biggest Loser mansion. Now every Halloween, Christmas etc we can expect a themed update for that holiday but what now?

This week, the original AND seasons were updated in successive days so I'm torn. Which one do I focus my commuting time on? Original or Valentines (yes Valentines, sigh)

I'm not alone, the angry bird nerds around me have also played a bit of both so basically haven't gotten anywhere on either! No one has completed them, seen the golden egg levels or walked proudly around the office sporting a huge smile and proof that they can waste their time too. : )

So I'll put it out there? Completed it yet?

Weekly WTF - Streeflyer

Ok, its kinda cool and a small part of me wants to have a go but seriously WTF.

Does the world really need a 1.5m wide suspension tricycle?

Is there a reason some of the creative minds of the world are focussed on this useless crap?

Weekly WTF - iPhone Phone

TAF11 - 1 Day To Go!

Dust off the tent, don your apron, dig out the dancing shoes and teach the cat to feed itself - TAF11 is just 1 day away!

True to form I'll try and cover everything but if you have any other questions, get on the blower.

Where: Access is via our left hand gate. There may be small children around the place so please ensure you close the gate behind you and their parents can relax too.

Transport: We're in a cul-de-sac so parking WILL be an issue. Please try not to block our neighbours driveways cos we want to keep them happy so they don't complain later in the day! Edgewater Train station is a really quick 5 min walk so that could be an option to or from TAF11, see attached for the map.

Times: Gate opens @ 10.30am Saturday and 'Play' will be pressed at 11. All encouraged and welcome for the official start through till 10pm when headlining act Tool will close Day 1. Operator Please kick off Day 2 @ 9am through to Mr Butlers 3, close the festival @ 5.30pm.

Line-Up: The line-up/itinerary is complete and attached for your reading. Have also included a festival map so you don't get lost.

Camping: Anyone camping overnight may erect themselves at any stage but expect plenty of abuse and back-seat driving if your erection occurs late. If you are too intoxicated to sustain your erection and help is required, expect the p!ss to be taken out of you until TAF12. The Crystal Lake / Candy Mountain campsites have both have been freshly mowed and weeded so your stay should be pleasant.

Weather: Where do I start! First it was going to be 40+, then it was going to rain all weekend, then hot and now they say its gunna rain again! Here's the current forecast:
Saturday - Afternoon shower - 38
Sunday - Afternoon shower - 36
Keep an eye out on the BOM website for updates but either way it looks like a scorcher so prepare yourselves with a decent hat and sunscreen.

Drinks: Beer will be provided at the 'Ah Yeah' Bar onsite: Bottomless cup for $20 or singles can be purchased on negotiation with the Master Brewer, both can be paid to him on the day. All other beverages are BYO. I will have a huge esky full of ice so if you just have a few softies then there'll be no need to bring an esky if you don't want to.

What to Bring: Remember its BYO everything apart from T.P. and gas so get your tent, meat and drinks ready. All oddball cooking styles and methods strongly encouraged so start marinating and looking for those random novelty aprons now. Might also be an idea to chuck in a pair of tongs too, don't want any burnt snags cos you had to wait! Our local IGA is open all weekend and just a 2 min drive away. Obviously there will be a huge breakfast cook up Sunday morning so bear that in mind if your camping or coming over early. Bring a towel if you plan on showering, deodorant and a clean pair of jocks - remember TAF is a stench free environment.

What NOT to bring: Chairs/Tables - We have heaps!.

In Emergency: If gate-crashing occurs, garden tools, bamboo flares and quick reference verbal abuse cards will be provided to ensure they don't stay very long. There is a strong possibility of police presence so tourists/freeloaders, make sure all your immigration paperwork is up to date.

Hopefully that covers everything but of course don't hesitate to email or call me if you have a question.

Weekly WTF - Flexitarians

So there's Vegans, Vegetarians and the rest of us..... no no. There's a name for people who are vegos but secretly eat meat all the time!

W
T
F

So 'normal' to easy to remember then?

Meet The Flexitarians

Weekly GAL - Only in America

Sue the world! coz I'm an idiot

Is your drink just not meaty enough?

+ =

Bi-Weekly WTF - Smashing Pumpkins 'Landslide' Cover

I don't know what hit the WTF mark faster. 1. The fact they recorded this. 2. The fact they recorded this in a studio. 3. Billy's completely unsuitable voice and overall style for this track. 4. The mock-up video clip on YouTube. 5. The fact I wasted 3.07 listening to it. All combined its smashed the WTF barrier with ease.

Weekly WTF - Mermaid Single Flipper

Cos, ya know, it'd be great when you were learning to use it and, ya know, couldn't stand up easily and, ya know, drowned.

Run For Your Life!

Cam moves!

The little bloke has decided that 8.5 months is long enough to spend staying still and is crawling and spinning all over the show.

In the last few weeks you could see the frustration in his face that things were so close and yet completely impossible to get to. He now has his coordination under control and can move around faster than a redneck to KFC. (Yes that is a dig against rednecks AND people who like KFC!)

So lock up your valuables, shut all your doors and pray to whoever you reckons up there cos he's coming!

UPDATE: He's added a few more firsts in this week. He can sit himself up from lying down and pull himself up on furniture, usually to try and reach the bloody remote!

Nothings safe!
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Weekly WTF - Fake Animal Carcasses

To promote the new season of Man v Wild a life size replica camel carcass was put in an mall in Sydney so people could see what its like to crawl into it.

Bear Grylls - Yeah, Umm, WTF

Your show stinks about as much as this pile of camel ship..... get it?

"If you find yourself stuck in the desert...." seriously who the F finds themselves stuck in the desert without intending to be there all along!?!

Note: If a piss-take of your show has higher ratings then its time to hang up the utility belt you numpty.

Double Note: If you havent seen the piss-take, stop what your doing and watch right now.

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vh8V9MhfCws
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtM7Jiv856Y
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Weekly GAL - Donkey Kong High Score

The New York-based plastic surgeon has just recaptured the Donkey Kong record, nabbing 1,068,000 points, beating out recent records captured by Steve Wiebe (1,064,500) and Billy Mitchell (1,062,800), stars of the terrific 2007 documentary on the subject.

Can anyone guess what GAL stands for?

TAF11 - Just Around The Corner...

Hopefully the festive hangover has worn off enough to consider your options for TAF11. Yes its on so dig out the tent music lovers. Incase this is your first update on TAF11, I'll re-cover alot of points in the previous posting to ensure everyone has the 411.

There have been some huge changes/improvements/addons to the TAF11 setup and we hope they are all embraced by the attendees to create a bigger and better festival this time around. Everything that went well is of course remaining so those that are making it back-to-back TAF's you'll see some similarities.

So What's The Same?
- It will be over 2 days in our backyard with overnight camping strongly recommended. I can safely vouch for the TAF10 campers and say it was awesome!
- $25 entry fee which buys you one of the artist CDs (see next point), a Tent Plot, BBQ Gas, Toilet Paper, Lights, Shower etc.
- The lineup will be dictated by BDO. CD's will be purchased by me for the festival and distributed to ticket holders in a 'hat draw' after Sunday's headlining act closes TAF. CD purchase priority goes to artists with a 2010 release. eg: a lesser known artists new CD will be bought over Tool because Tool's last album was back in 2006.
- Tap beer available on-site. I'll leave the finer details to the Ah' Yeah brewing company but be assured your palette will remain satisfied.

What's Changed?
- TAF11 will NOT be on the same weekend as BDO. TAF11 will be on the 29th-30th January.
- New house means fresh layout! A new festival map has been created so there are no lost souls.
- We have been approached by 2nd brewery hoping to get in on TAF so your beverage choice could be even more widespread!

And What's New?
- Live performances. There will be an allocated timeslot for 'TAF Undiscovered' acts. Acoustic guitars and amplified vocals so get writing and rehearsing!
- Cook offs - BBQs, Webers, Marinades, Jerkys, "Show Us Ya Bratwurst", Best Apron Award - you get the idea!
- Merchandise and more!!!!

Line-up (Itinerary To Follow)
John Butler Trio, Birds Of Tokyo, Gyroscope, The Black Keys, Wolfmother, The Vines, Tool, Angus & Julia Stone, The Naked & Famous, Sia, Dead Letter Circus, Washington, Children Collide, Plan B, Little Red, Airbourne, Bliss N Eso, Deftones, Operator Please, Rammstein, Jim Jones Revue, Lupe Fiasco, Grinderman, Ratatat, Edward Sharpe, Primal Scream, Iggy and the Stooges.

In Summary
- TAF11 will begin at 11am Saturday 29th January and end on Sunday 30th @ 5.30pm. Music will be cut after Saturdays headliner circa 10pm and restart around 9-10am.
- Camping strongly encouraged but not compulsory.
- $25 entry fee, bring everything to eat/drink apart from beer if you're up for local TAF brew.

Testimonials
"BDO was shit and we spent $500+, should have stayed at TAF the whole time. Next year I'm @ TAF all the way." Michael Guhl 1/2/10
"TAF is the greatest festival I have ever been to, why haven't we been doing this every year!" Anon 31/1/10
"Who the hell are Muse?" Jenny Bartle 30/1/10 9.45pm
".........." Cameron Dawson 31/1/10

What do you want from me?
- Put a comment on this with your expressions of interest!

TAF10 was fabulous and this year is set to be bigger and better. Don't think about it, get on board!

being a good sport...

Australian cricket, for at least the test match brigade has fallen into a bit of a hole lately. To the casual observer this comes as no surprise, they were fairly dominant for a good 15 years and now its time to start the process again. There is only so long you can survive as the hunted.

Aussie sports fans however do not take this suggestion lying down, in the world of professional sports expectations turn into demands and you must suffer the consequences for any failures becoming. Have Australians become so accustomed to the terrific results that being anything less then number 1 is deemed a failure?

Many moons ago Australia dominated the world tennis scene and slowly it has dwindled away, our last spark of accomplishment was the unlikeable Lleyton Hewitt, not the greatest torch bearer for our nation. The sport has died down in popularity, its numbers in participation are not moving much, there is little inspiration for the masses.

Lets suggest that Aussie cricket continues its downward spiral, lets be honest it may not get much worse then this, its highly unlikely that smaller nations like NZ, Sri Lanka, Pakistan or WI would ever be consistantly better then Australia but its not unthinkable that India, SA and England could hold them off. Could cricket as a whole in Australia feel the weight of poor results.

In a world of ever increasing technology where more sport is played by kids on their xbox then in real life (Im not kidding either, having asked six classes of school kids who had played tennis and who had played wii tennis and the ratio was about 1:10), kids don't need an excuse to not go out and play actual sport

Almost every parent wants to put their kids into sport for the health and social benefits, not for the winning and losing aspects. The results of your kid's sporting event should have no effect on their self worth and neither should the results of the nation's sporting team effect the nation's self worth. If Australia sends out XI men to do battle as its best and they are thoroughly beaten then maybe they are just not as good as the other team. You have to appreciate the good times by going thru the bad.

I often root for the underdog, let ever man/woman/team have their day. I supported a team (Geelong FC) that didnt have grandfinal success for 40 years, it made it that much more sweeter when finally they did win. For nearly 3 years my team was almost unstoppable, but now they are on the decline, quite simply put its too hard to keep yourself at the top when everybody is thinking of ways to beat you. Living in a city where WC Eagles was a religion for my whole childhood, a team that never really saw the lowest of lows until this year when they finished last. I applaud the supporters who stick with their side, their captain, their coach thru the hard times, knowing that they were around when it was the good times, hopefully still around for the next wave of success.

Unfortunately everyone seems to forget that only one team can be on top, in AFL that means 15 teams don't win, so you can't say not winning is failure as your likely hood of being that one team is 6.25%. Maybe NFL / MLB style tables are a better way to do things, everything is in sections so your team may not win the whole damn league but they can be regional champ or sectional champ or whatever.

so trying not to plunder any sporting cliches, sport is meant to be fun, its meant to unite and not divide, its a hobbie, a pastime, a means of health and competition. You are not defined by it and neither is your team/country. Ride the wave, savour the victories and use the defeats as a learning tool to making yourself, your team or your country better for having competed.

Hottest 100 Voting for 2010

voting is now open at triplej.abc.net.au

over the year I have run a 'weekly' segment about new music and less then well known music and it should be no surprise that he bulk of my votes for this year have all been featured on this site. So if you want to check out the tracks then look on here or just punch it in on YT i guess

Bag Raiders - Way Back Home : i really like the build in this song, simple keyboards and vocal lines into a mid tempo beat and then into the sing a long chorus, nice work from this up and coming Aussie outfit 

Birds Of Tokyo - Plans : this song got a little bit killed by the flogomatic commercial stations. This album was possibly the best album i got this year and this is the best song off it 

Cee Lo Green - Fuck You! : this was the best song of 2010, a track which is so pop but so bitter and enjoyable. Its watered down version "forget you" is getting around on all commercial stations including Mix, i think if you can cover total alternative radio all the way to non-offensive adult contemporary then you have done something really good. Not my favourite song but the best one 

Chiddy Bang - Opposite Of Adults : This song has a great sample from MGMT's massive hits kids, but so well used you can't really tell what its from. Very different from a lot of songs that i like, number one its pretty much a rap song, number two it starts with the chorus, i tend to favour songs that build to a crescendo. Its pretty special. 

Gyroscope - What Do I Know About Pain? : I love these guys and they released an absolute cracker of an album this year, this song was a hidden gem. After releasing about three singles from the album which stole the limelight this track was a staple at concerts and it was only after multiple listens that I cottoned on. Was eventually realeased as a single late in the year which may bode well for hottest 100 

Mark Ronson & The Business Intl - Somebody To Love Me {Ft. Boy George &  Andrew Wyatt} : this track was just a bolt from the blue, Ronson released a great album this year and after two good singles he let this cat out of the bag and it blew me away. Just perfectly balanced in its layers 

Papa Vs Pretty - Heavy Harm : This is my favourite song of the year, its probably the biggest surprise package. Some really interesting guitar work opens the track and really got my attention. then the main riff just drives the track along. I hope they have a future as this song is really strong, unfortunately the other tracks I have heard havent been anywhere as interesting so fingers crossed for them, they really nailed this one 

Sparkadia - Talking Like I'm Falling Down Stairs : This artist had some nice tracks previously but has been quiet for a while, this song is really nice, it has a great hook in the chorus with the keys that is very familiar but I can't put my finger on it 

Two Door Cinema Club - Undercover Martyn : this song is really interesting in the fact that its a little bit dancey in it's studio version but i also heard it as an acoustic number and its just as good, slightly different and yet the song holds up. Thats always a sign of a really strong song. 

Dan Black - U + Me = : this almost escaped me and I am so glad that it didnt. i actually went back thru my Open Your Ears list before i submitted my votes and was reminded of this track. Once again its a track which isn't typically my scene but the sum of parts is awesome, layers of interesting features that come together to form one great track. Like Papa vs Pretty I hope this guy can back up such a strong release

this was probably one of the hardest years for voting in the last five years. Looking forward to 2011. What are your votes for best songs of 2010?