Weekly WTF - iPhone Phone

TAF11 - 1 Day To Go!

Dust off the tent, don your apron, dig out the dancing shoes and teach the cat to feed itself - TAF11 is just 1 day away!

True to form I'll try and cover everything but if you have any other questions, get on the blower.

Where: Access is via our left hand gate. There may be small children around the place so please ensure you close the gate behind you and their parents can relax too.

Transport: We're in a cul-de-sac so parking WILL be an issue. Please try not to block our neighbours driveways cos we want to keep them happy so they don't complain later in the day! Edgewater Train station is a really quick 5 min walk so that could be an option to or from TAF11, see attached for the map.

Times: Gate opens @ 10.30am Saturday and 'Play' will be pressed at 11. All encouraged and welcome for the official start through till 10pm when headlining act Tool will close Day 1. Operator Please kick off Day 2 @ 9am through to Mr Butlers 3, close the festival @ 5.30pm.

Line-Up: The line-up/itinerary is complete and attached for your reading. Have also included a festival map so you don't get lost.

Camping: Anyone camping overnight may erect themselves at any stage but expect plenty of abuse and back-seat driving if your erection occurs late. If you are too intoxicated to sustain your erection and help is required, expect the p!ss to be taken out of you until TAF12. The Crystal Lake / Candy Mountain campsites have both have been freshly mowed and weeded so your stay should be pleasant.

Weather: Where do I start! First it was going to be 40+, then it was going to rain all weekend, then hot and now they say its gunna rain again! Here's the current forecast:
Saturday - Afternoon shower - 38
Sunday - Afternoon shower - 36
Keep an eye out on the BOM website for updates but either way it looks like a scorcher so prepare yourselves with a decent hat and sunscreen.

Drinks: Beer will be provided at the 'Ah Yeah' Bar onsite: Bottomless cup for $20 or singles can be purchased on negotiation with the Master Brewer, both can be paid to him on the day. All other beverages are BYO. I will have a huge esky full of ice so if you just have a few softies then there'll be no need to bring an esky if you don't want to.

What to Bring: Remember its BYO everything apart from T.P. and gas so get your tent, meat and drinks ready. All oddball cooking styles and methods strongly encouraged so start marinating and looking for those random novelty aprons now. Might also be an idea to chuck in a pair of tongs too, don't want any burnt snags cos you had to wait! Our local IGA is open all weekend and just a 2 min drive away. Obviously there will be a huge breakfast cook up Sunday morning so bear that in mind if your camping or coming over early. Bring a towel if you plan on showering, deodorant and a clean pair of jocks - remember TAF is a stench free environment.

What NOT to bring: Chairs/Tables - We have heaps!.

In Emergency: If gate-crashing occurs, garden tools, bamboo flares and quick reference verbal abuse cards will be provided to ensure they don't stay very long. There is a strong possibility of police presence so tourists/freeloaders, make sure all your immigration paperwork is up to date.

Hopefully that covers everything but of course don't hesitate to email or call me if you have a question.

Weekly WTF - Flexitarians

So there's Vegans, Vegetarians and the rest of us..... no no. There's a name for people who are vegos but secretly eat meat all the time!

W
T
F

So 'normal' to easy to remember then?

Meet The Flexitarians

Weekly GAL - Only in America

Sue the world! coz I'm an idiot

Is your drink just not meaty enough?

+ =

Bi-Weekly WTF - Smashing Pumpkins 'Landslide' Cover

I don't know what hit the WTF mark faster. 1. The fact they recorded this. 2. The fact they recorded this in a studio. 3. Billy's completely unsuitable voice and overall style for this track. 4. The mock-up video clip on YouTube. 5. The fact I wasted 3.07 listening to it. All combined its smashed the WTF barrier with ease.

Weekly WTF - Mermaid Single Flipper

Cos, ya know, it'd be great when you were learning to use it and, ya know, couldn't stand up easily and, ya know, drowned.

Run For Your Life!

Cam moves!

The little bloke has decided that 8.5 months is long enough to spend staying still and is crawling and spinning all over the show.

In the last few weeks you could see the frustration in his face that things were so close and yet completely impossible to get to. He now has his coordination under control and can move around faster than a redneck to KFC. (Yes that is a dig against rednecks AND people who like KFC!)

So lock up your valuables, shut all your doors and pray to whoever you reckons up there cos he's coming!

UPDATE: He's added a few more firsts in this week. He can sit himself up from lying down and pull himself up on furniture, usually to try and reach the bloody remote!

Nothings safe!
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Weekly WTF - Fake Animal Carcasses

To promote the new season of Man v Wild a life size replica camel carcass was put in an mall in Sydney so people could see what its like to crawl into it.

Bear Grylls - Yeah, Umm, WTF

Your show stinks about as much as this pile of camel ship..... get it?

"If you find yourself stuck in the desert...." seriously who the F finds themselves stuck in the desert without intending to be there all along!?!

Note: If a piss-take of your show has higher ratings then its time to hang up the utility belt you numpty.

Double Note: If you havent seen the piss-take, stop what your doing and watch right now.

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vh8V9MhfCws
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtM7Jiv856Y
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Weekly GAL - Donkey Kong High Score

The New York-based plastic surgeon has just recaptured the Donkey Kong record, nabbing 1,068,000 points, beating out recent records captured by Steve Wiebe (1,064,500) and Billy Mitchell (1,062,800), stars of the terrific 2007 documentary on the subject.

Can anyone guess what GAL stands for?

TAF11 - Just Around The Corner...

Hopefully the festive hangover has worn off enough to consider your options for TAF11. Yes its on so dig out the tent music lovers. Incase this is your first update on TAF11, I'll re-cover alot of points in the previous posting to ensure everyone has the 411.

There have been some huge changes/improvements/addons to the TAF11 setup and we hope they are all embraced by the attendees to create a bigger and better festival this time around. Everything that went well is of course remaining so those that are making it back-to-back TAF's you'll see some similarities.

So What's The Same?
- It will be over 2 days in our backyard with overnight camping strongly recommended. I can safely vouch for the TAF10 campers and say it was awesome!
- $25 entry fee which buys you one of the artist CDs (see next point), a Tent Plot, BBQ Gas, Toilet Paper, Lights, Shower etc.
- The lineup will be dictated by BDO. CD's will be purchased by me for the festival and distributed to ticket holders in a 'hat draw' after Sunday's headlining act closes TAF. CD purchase priority goes to artists with a 2010 release. eg: a lesser known artists new CD will be bought over Tool because Tool's last album was back in 2006.
- Tap beer available on-site. I'll leave the finer details to the Ah' Yeah brewing company but be assured your palette will remain satisfied.

What's Changed?
- TAF11 will NOT be on the same weekend as BDO. TAF11 will be on the 29th-30th January.
- New house means fresh layout! A new festival map has been created so there are no lost souls.
- We have been approached by 2nd brewery hoping to get in on TAF so your beverage choice could be even more widespread!

And What's New?
- Live performances. There will be an allocated timeslot for 'TAF Undiscovered' acts. Acoustic guitars and amplified vocals so get writing and rehearsing!
- Cook offs - BBQs, Webers, Marinades, Jerkys, "Show Us Ya Bratwurst", Best Apron Award - you get the idea!
- Merchandise and more!!!!

Line-up (Itinerary To Follow)
John Butler Trio, Birds Of Tokyo, Gyroscope, The Black Keys, Wolfmother, The Vines, Tool, Angus & Julia Stone, The Naked & Famous, Sia, Dead Letter Circus, Washington, Children Collide, Plan B, Little Red, Airbourne, Bliss N Eso, Deftones, Operator Please, Rammstein, Jim Jones Revue, Lupe Fiasco, Grinderman, Ratatat, Edward Sharpe, Primal Scream, Iggy and the Stooges.

In Summary
- TAF11 will begin at 11am Saturday 29th January and end on Sunday 30th @ 5.30pm. Music will be cut after Saturdays headliner circa 10pm and restart around 9-10am.
- Camping strongly encouraged but not compulsory.
- $25 entry fee, bring everything to eat/drink apart from beer if you're up for local TAF brew.

Testimonials
"BDO was shit and we spent $500+, should have stayed at TAF the whole time. Next year I'm @ TAF all the way." Michael Guhl 1/2/10
"TAF is the greatest festival I have ever been to, why haven't we been doing this every year!" Anon 31/1/10
"Who the hell are Muse?" Jenny Bartle 30/1/10 9.45pm
".........." Cameron Dawson 31/1/10

What do you want from me?
- Put a comment on this with your expressions of interest!

TAF10 was fabulous and this year is set to be bigger and better. Don't think about it, get on board!